Healing for the Soul: How my Physical Wound Healed When I Released the Past

© 2012 Katina Davenport

Have you ever been hurt by someone before? Have you ever been heartbroken? Have you ever said to yourself I will never forgive that person? If you have answered yes to any of these questions you could have underline medical issues and not even know it. I did and this is how I got healed.

I, like many people, have been hurt many times in my life. I felt abandoned and betrayed by my father who was not in my life and who disappointed me by never keeping promises. For many years I held on to the hurt while trying to relieve the pain. This lead to many bad relationships with men and ultimately the loss of my identity. The joy I had as a child diminished with each hurtful blow. It was as if someone kept hitting the same emotional sore over and over until a part of me died. Each time a boyfriend left or I left because of negativity in the relationship, my joy died a little. The final blow came when my first marriage dissolved in less than a year. The marriage needed to dissolve, but that is a whole other story.

I was fortunate enough to be able to find love again, marry, and have another baby. I was given a second chance to have the life that I dreamed of, yet still there were wounds deep on the inside that had not healed.

Physical Wounds

After the birth of my son last September I began to break out in horrific boils that would heal very slowly. In November of 2011, I went to the doctor to find out why I was experiencing growing lumps under my armpit. That had never happened to me before. There was no history of breast cancer in my family. I was baffled. The doctor put me on antibiotics to heal the lumps. The lumps turned out to be abscesses. Eventually the abscesses burst open so they could heal. After a week or so I noticed that the wound was very deep and not closing. I made an appointment with my doctor. A string of sleepless nights with my newborn son prevented me from making the appointment. Eventually the wound got so deep that it looked like it would never heal.

A month went by without any change in my condition. I finally got fed up and went to urgent care, but the doctor said there wasn’t anything that could be done because the wound was in a bad spot and will take some time to heal. He gave me some antibiotics and sent me home. The antibiotics made me sick and I had to stop taking them. I tried holistic remedies that gave me some relief from the pain, but the wound was still open.

Emotional Wounds

My emotional wounds began to catch up with my physical wounds. After a woman gives birth her body tries to adjust to all of the hormonal changes taking place. I was experiencing all kind of physical, emotional, and mental changes because of hormonal imbalance. I wasn’t getting enough sleep or eating enough. Most days I found these things to be impossible. I was feeling sad and angry all the time. I tried prayer, but that didn’t work. The more I prayed the worse I got. I tried singing, dancing, and exercise. Nothing would help my mood swings and sadness. It all came to a boil one day and my husband sat me down and talked to me about my behavior. I then knew it wasn't just my hormones. He helped me realize that I was still feeling the hurt from my past. I was reminded of my past anytime my daughter would act like her birth father. Needless to say I began to cry. I told him I lost the person God designed me to be. I lost my joy and I didn’t think that I would ever get it back.

As we talked he reminded me of the scripture about the dry bones in Ezekiel 37. That entire chapter talks about how the Prophet spoke to the dry bones and when he did the dry bones lived. My husband told me to speak to the joy I once thought was dead so that it can come alive again. But I first had to believe that I could be the happy person I used to be. I cried for a while as he spoke those words and as he help me revisit all the hurt from my past. I am not sure when we started talking, but we talked until 4:00am.

I woke a few hours later with a sense of peace. I felt like a ton of weight was lifted off of my shoulders. That morning, like so many other mornings since November 2011, I checked my armpit to see how my wound was healing. On this particular morning I found new skin growing on the outer part of my wound. I shared it with my husband and he was ecstatic. I realized then that because my soul wounds were healing my outer wound was healing also.

I released my hurt that night while talking to my husband. I also vowed in my heart to forgive those that have hurt me. My wound is just about healed today and I know it is because of forgiveness and letting go of my past hurts.